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Write a coming of age movie about Anthony Hopkins playing himself having an end of life crisis, getting full body tattoos and contacting Logan Paul for advice and tips on style and how to become a modern day YouTube influencer for late teens and early 20s.

Title: Inked Wisdom

Fade in:

The film opens with a shot of Anthony Hopkins, a legendary actor in his seventies, sitting alone in his mansion, staring at the portrait of himself as a young man. He feels unfulfilled, and he realizes that he’s been playing the same type of roles his entire life. He’s bored and restless, and he’s desperate for a change.

Cut to:

Anthony walks into a tattoo parlor, and he tells the artist that he wants a full body tattoo. The artist is surprised but excited to work on such a unique canvas. Anthony spends hours getting inked, and he realizes that the pain is worth it because he feels alive again.

Cut to:

Anthony admiring himself in the mirror, covered in tattoos from head to toe. He’s proud of his new look, but he’s unsure about what to do next. He decides to reach out to Logan Paul, a young YouTuber who’s famous for his tattoos and fashion style.

Cut to:

Logan Paul receives an email from Anthony Hopkins, and he’s shocked but excited to hear from the legendary actor. They set up a meeting, and Logan agrees to help Anthony become a modern-day influencer.

Cut to:

Anthony and Logan hanging out in Logan’s studio, trying on clothes, and experimenting with different styles. Logan teaches Anthony how to make videos, and they film a vlog together. Anthony is a bit uncomfortable at first, but he soon learns to embrace the new medium.

Cut to:

Anthony’s videos become popular among late teens and early 20s, and he starts to gain a following. He shares his wisdom and experiences with the younger generation, and they love him for it. He also discovers a newfound joy in life, and he’s grateful for Logan’s guidance.

Cut to:

Anthony sitting in front of the portrait of himself again, but this time he’s smiling. He’s happy with the person he’s become, and he feels fulfilled. He’s no longer bored or restless, and he’s excited for the future.

Fade out.

Sean’s fake review.

“A refreshing he-make of My Fair Lady, with pointed commentary on contemporary male issues. At times self-absorbed, writer/director and star Anthony Hopkins bares all for the camera in shocking scenes of gratuitous nudity.” – Sean

Write an action movie which is a tense thriller featuring Liam Neeson as a telephone handset technician in the world’s largest call centre facility.

Title: Disconnect

Opening shot: The camera zooms in on Liam Neeson, dressed in a blue uniform with a toolbelt around his waist, as he climbs up a telephone pole to fix a faulty connection.

Cut to: Liam’s character, Mark, arrives at his workplace – the world’s largest call center facility located in the heart of a bustling city. He is greeted by his supervisor, who informs him that they have been experiencing strange technical glitches that have been affecting their clients’ calls.

Mark investigates the issue and discovers that someone has hacked into the call center’s system, diverting calls to an unknown location. He alerts his supervisor, but she dismisses his claims as paranoia and warns him not to disrupt their business operations.

As Mark continues to investigate, he realizes that the hackers are using the call center to steal sensitive information from unsuspecting clients. He races against time to uncover the identity of the hackers and stop them before they cause irreparable damage.

Amidst the chaos, Mark is framed for the cyber-attack and becomes a prime suspect in the eyes of the law. He must fight to clear his name while trying to stay alive as the hackers are closing in on him.

With the help of a tech-savvy co-worker and a former hacker turned informant, Mark sets out to bring down the hackers and save the call center’s clients from financial ruin.

The tension builds as Mark navigates through the labyrinth of wires and cables, dodging bullets and explosions, all while keeping his cool and using his technical expertise to outsmart the hackers.

In a thrilling climax, Mark faces off against the mastermind behind the cyber-attack in a high-stakes battle that will determine the fate of the call center and its clients.

As the dust settles, Mark is hailed as a hero for his bravery and resourcefulness. He returns to his normal life, but with a newfound appreciation for the power and responsibility of technology.

Closing shot: The camera pans out from the call center’s rooftop, revealing the city skyline in the distance, as Mark takes a deep breath and smiles, knowing he saved the day.

Sean Fake Review

“Neeson is back on form in this tense thriller that capitalises on the excitement and nostalgia that audiences can expect from watching Liam Neeson navigate deadly situations with the help of his signature weapon: telephony equipment. And a pistol.” – Sean

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A film featuring Liam Neeson as himself using only a phone in a race against time to stop Nicholas Cage and Bruce Willis from making any more low budget movies.

Title: Liam’s Last Stand

The movie opens with Liam Neeson sitting in his living room, scrolling through his social media feed. Suddenly, he comes across an article that shocks him. Nicholas Cage and Bruce Willis have signed on to do another low-budget movie, and Liam can’t take it anymore. He picks up his phone and begins making calls.

Liam: “I need your help. Cage and Willis are going to make another one of those awful movies. We have to stop them.”

Liam’s friends in Hollywood don’t believe him at first, but when they see the news, they realize that he’s right. They all agree to help him, but they need a plan.

Liam: “I’m going to use my particular set of skills to stop them. I’m going to track them down and convince them not to do it.”

The clock is ticking, and Liam only has a few hours to stop Cage and Willis. He jumps in his car and begins driving to the first location where Cage is filming.

Liam: “Cage, it’s Liam. We need to talk. You can’t do this movie. It’s beneath you.”

Cage: “I need the money, Liam. I’m broke.”

Liam: “I’ll give you the money. Just don’t make this movie.”

Cage reluctantly agrees, and Liam drives to the next location where Willis is filming.

Liam: “Bruce, we need to talk. You can’t do this movie. You’re better than this.”

Willis: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Liam. I’m doing fine.”

Liam: “Don’t lie to me, Bruce. I know you’re struggling. But there are other ways to make money. You don’t have to do this.”

Willis sees the determination in Liam’s eyes and finally agrees not to make the movie.

Liam: “Good. Now, let’s get a drink and celebrate.”

As they sit in a bar, Liam’s phone rings. It’s his agent.

Agent: “Liam, I just got off the phone with the studio. They want you to star in a new action movie. It’s going to be big.”

Liam: “I’m in. But on one condition. No more low-budget movies. We’re better than that.”

As the movie ends, Liam smiles knowing that he’s won this battle, but the war against bad movies will never end.

“A hilarious pastiche of meta-comedies like Pauly Shore is Dead and The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Liam shows his comedic range whilst poking fun at himself and the genres that bought him his mansions. The next evolution in this post-ironic progression must surely be a film about we the viewers in a desperate race against time to stop ourselves binging this formulaic streaming tripe.” – Sean

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