A film featuring Liam Neeson as himself using only a phone in a race against time to stop Nicholas Cage and Bruce Willis from making any more low budget movies.
Title: Liam’s Last Stand
The movie opens with Liam Neeson sitting in his living room, scrolling through his social media feed. Suddenly, he comes across an article that shocks him. Nicholas Cage and Bruce Willis have signed on to do another low-budget movie, and Liam can’t take it anymore. He picks up his phone and begins making calls.
Liam: “I need your help. Cage and Willis are going to make another one of those awful movies. We have to stop them.”
Liam’s friends in Hollywood don’t believe him at first, but when they see the news, they realize that he’s right. They all agree to help him, but they need a plan.
Liam: “I’m going to use my particular set of skills to stop them. I’m going to track them down and convince them not to do it.”
The clock is ticking, and Liam only has a few hours to stop Cage and Willis. He jumps in his car and begins driving to the first location where Cage is filming.
Liam: “Cage, it’s Liam. We need to talk. You can’t do this movie. It’s beneath you.”
Cage: “I need the money, Liam. I’m broke.”
Liam: “I’ll give you the money. Just don’t make this movie.”
Cage reluctantly agrees, and Liam drives to the next location where Willis is filming.
Liam: “Bruce, we need to talk. You can’t do this movie. You’re better than this.”
Willis: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Liam. I’m doing fine.”
Liam: “Don’t lie to me, Bruce. I know you’re struggling. But there are other ways to make money. You don’t have to do this.”
Willis sees the determination in Liam’s eyes and finally agrees not to make the movie.
Liam: “Good. Now, let’s get a drink and celebrate.”
As they sit in a bar, Liam’s phone rings. It’s his agent.
Agent: “Liam, I just got off the phone with the studio. They want you to star in a new action movie. It’s going to be big.”
Liam: “I’m in. But on one condition. No more low-budget movies. We’re better than that.”
As the movie ends, Liam smiles knowing that he’s won this battle, but the war against bad movies will never end.
“A hilarious pastiche of meta-comedies like Pauly Shore is Dead and The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, Liam shows his comedic range whilst poking fun at himself and the genres that bought him his mansions. The next evolution in this post-ironic progression must surely be a film about we the viewers in a desperate race against time to stop ourselves binging this formulaic streaming tripe.” – Sean
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